The Fringe

            As someone who writes a fair amount (I try to post every other day), I sometimes run into a wall. What should I write about? I stare at my screen and draw a blank.

            If you ever have a topic you would like to read about, email me at spencerluria@gmail.com. Any suggestions, comments, or questions are welcome!

            Now for my actual post topic.

The Fringe

            As a military child, I’ve always been an outsider. I’ve always been that new kid that had no friends. Moving from place to place, sports team to sports team, church to church. No one my age ever walked up to me to be my friend. No one ever said, “Hey! What’s your name? I’m so glad you’re here.” I always took the first step. I always fought the cliques.

           And I hated it. It hurt to be ignored and not cared about.

           So you know what I did? I gathered others who were on the outside. I formed my own group of friends with the non-popular kids. I made friends with everyone else that had no friends. My group of friends would then grow larger than the other groups. Then they wanted in. And we let them in. Everyone was happy.

            That’s not how it was supposed to be, but that’s especially how it is in the church. People don’t want to get out of their comfort zone and befriend the new person. We don’t care about the fringe because they’ve never done anything for us. They are just inconvenient nobodies.

            But let’s look at Jesus and how He acted towards those on the outside.

            “Now a man there named Zacchaeus, who was a chief tax collector and also a wealthy man,

            was seeking to see who Jesus was; but he could not see him because of the crowd, for he was short in stature.

            So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus, who was about to pass that way.

            When he reached the place, Jesus looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I must stay at your house.”

            And he came down quickly and received him with joy. (Luke 19:2-6)

           After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the customs post. He said to him, “Follow me.”

            And leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him. (Luke 5:27-28)

            Notice Jesus’ eyes. He “looked up” and noticed Zaccheus (Luke 19:5). He “saw” Levi (Luke 5:27). He was always keeping his eyes open for those on the outside. He was always on the lookout for the extremely unpopular (tax collectors, prostitutes, etc.). He cared, so he took notice.

             My friends, are we following Jesus’ example? Are we looking? Do we care?

I’m Not Sorry

             Now, as I reread what I just wrote, I realize I may come across as harsh. But I won’t change anything because that’s years upon years of frustration and sadness coming out. It’s real talk. There are so many lonely people in the church today. I’ve been one of them. It’s a shame.

             But maybe you haven’t noticed those outside of your circle because you’ve never had to experience what I have. You don't know what it's like. That’s understandable. But it’s also changeable.

             So keep your eyes open for the fringe, like me. Make friends from their ranks. Invite them in. Tell them you are so glad they are there. They'll feel like they matter. That will make their day.

             It would’ve made mine.

What Is Love?

            I go on the radio and hear one word a lot. In tons of different ways. It’s used as an excuse, a catalyst, a weapon, and every other way imaginable. This word, if you haven’t already guessed, is “love”. According to our culture, it is the "get out of jail free" card that you can use to justify any behavior.

           Ha. Let’s see what love really is. But first, I have one thing to say. Forgive me, Disney and Barbie, but I disagree with you on this subject.

When I See Your Face

            We’ve seen it a thousand times before (at least in movies, but it’s also hilarious when it happens in real life). A gorgeous stunner walks by an unsuspecting dude… and when he finally notices her, he almost forgets how to breathe. He definitely forgets how to speak. People look on and chuckle.

            He finally manages to participate in a conversation with her. Later, he gushes about how he is just like so totally in love. He just loves her like so totally a lot. Fantabulasticously*.

            Ladies and gentlemen, there is no such thing as love at first sight. Now excuse me for a second, I have to dodge all the princess movies being thrown at me…

            Let me introduce you to something called attraction. While our culture uses the words “attraction” and “love” interchangeably, they are different. One is ALL about feelings. About the external. If you take away the looks, you take away the attraction. Attraction doesn’t last very long, all that is necessary is for something equally unattractive to happen before it goes away.

            So what the poor guy was experiencing was attraction, not love. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know the difference because the word “love” has been twisted beyond recognition.

            So before we get to the definition of love, let’s talk about what our culture’s version of “love” really is.

Give Me an “S”! Give Me an “E”…

            What our culture calls “love” is really “selfishness”. You love me? Well, if that were true you would give me whatever I wanted. And because I love you, I get whatever I want. Because this is love, baby.

            Yeah, no.

            Love is not making promises to friends that you don’t intend on keeping. Love is not premarital sex because you both just “loved” each other so much you couldn’t wait. Love is not manipulating the other person and guilt-tripping to get what you want. Love is not a pass to allow whatever.

            Let’s find out what love really is.

To the Death

            Here is what the Bible says:

            “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

            It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

            Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

            It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV)

            “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13, KJV)

            Let’s go through some of these. Love is patient; it waits. It’s in no hurry. That means if you aren’t willing to wait until “I do”, you don’t love the person, you lust for that person (attraction).

            Love doesn’t seek attention, because it desires for others to get the praise and the glory. This one is hard for me, an attention-seeker. But if I love others, I should be willing to stay in the shadows and let others in the limelight.

            Love does not dishonor others. One way this happens is by breaking promises. Your word is your who you are. When you say you will do something, is that job as good as done? What is the level of your character, your integrity? Your reputation is a project, make sure to work on it and build it.

            Love keeps no record of wrong. If you love someone, you’ll let their mistakes go. It’s that simple. I can’t say I love you and wag your mistakes in your face. That’s not love.

            And verse 7 is my favorite. Love always keeps its chin up. Life downright stinks sometimes. People downright stink sometimes. I downright stink sometimes. But love always looks for the best in others. Love always believes God will bring out the best results possible. Love is the last one standing in the end.

            You done yet? I wish I was, but there’s more. I saved the toughest one for last. John 15:13 lays it out:

            Would you die for those you love?

            Jesus says that true love means that you are willing to sacrifice your life. I say I love my family, would I die for them? I say I love my friends, would I die for them? That is the ultimate meaning of putting others first.
            This is love.

Wow

            As I read what I’ve just written, I realize it hurts. I fail everyday. I can sound all authoritative behind a screen. I can be a keyboard warrior, flaying others for their mistakes. But when I look in the mirror, I have to face the reality that I am a messy failure. I don’t love others like I should. I’m not and never will be like Jesus.

            But God, in His patient, kind, forgiving, never-failing, and hopeful love, is there for me. He’ll never leave me to my mistakes. Jesus died so that one day you and I can stand before Him and hear something we don't deserve. Something that overlooked all the wrongs we did. Something that can only be described as an act of love.
            "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

*I just couldn't resist.

Loving the Unlovable

            Alright, most of you reading this have gone to Sunday school at one point or another. So answer this common question for me. How do you know you are a Christian?

            Some will quickly point out that they prayed the sinner’s prayer. Others will say that they just feel saved. Others will say that they’ve been going to church all their life. Those who are more advanced in the ways of the Sunday School will say they know they are saved by the fruit they produce, or that they are saved because their lives have been changed.

            But recently I’ve been thinking about forgiveness and love. I think we can add one more answer to this question.

I Love Idi Amin

            Idi Amin was a tyrant that murdered around 300,000 Ugandans during his 9 year reign. He was a mini-Hitler, and a micro-Satan. This dude was evil to the core. He flaunted his brutality to the world, and left Uganda in turmoil.

            In the midst of it all, he severely persecuted Christians. Festo Kivengere, an Anglican bishop, lived during his reign. He witnessed the wickedness of Idi Amin, and eventually he fled Uganda. Within the same year, he wrote a book titled “I Love Idi Amin”. In it, he talked about the supernatural joy and peace Ugandan Christians had despite Amin.

            After hearing this story of supernatural love, I thought of all the persecuted Christians overseas I’ve read about who sing as they get executed. They love their tormentors. They forgive those who hate them.

            And after reading about them, I always go back to Jesus’ words. As He was being mocked and ridiculed on the cross, He was bearing the weight of our sins. And here we were humiliating Him. I’m tearing up as I write this now because I can’t understand the love He has for me. For you.

            “Father forgive Nathan, for he knows not what he does.”

A Supernatural Love

            So what’s this other answer to the question “how do you know you are a Christian?” The answer is that you will be able to love and forgive the unlovable. Jesus loved a worthless nobody like me. Festo Kivengere loved a tyrannical monster. Countless unnamed Christians overseas suffer torture at the hands of the very people they try to help (prison guards).

            Ladies and gentlemen, that is a supernatural love a non-Christian cannot have.

            Oh, the world can forget the wrongs done to them. Maybe even forgive them. But the world cannot turn around and love those who hate them. No, it takes a power Satan does not have.

            So look at your own life. Are there people that you feel you cannot love? Maybe a coworker, teacher, parent, spouse, or an ex-friend? You may be right. On our own strength, there are times when our love just runs out. But hang on to the words of Jesus:

            “But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,

            Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (Luke 6:27-28, NRSV)

            He doesn’t ask for us to fight our own battles, because He’s won the war. By His strength we can love those who hate us. We can love those whom the world cannot.