Strange Scriptures: What a Tangled Web We Weave

           Many know about the account of Joseph and his brothers. In one of their earlier “episodes”, 

Joseph’s father gives Joseph a “coat of many colors” (Genesis 37:3). His brothers get extremely jealous, 

and things go downhill from there. Eventually, Joseph gets thrown into a pit, where he dies.

            Just kidding. He goes on to become the 22nd President of the United States.

            In the third chapter of her book Strange Scriptures, Barbara Walters goes over this incident. She 

writes that the brothers weren’t being petty and childish when they got jealous over the coat. It wasn’t a 

case of “Why did Jo get more ice cream than we did?”

            No, Joseph’s coat was extremely special. According to Barbara, it was called a kamise, and 

only two people in a clan or tribe had it. The sheikh, or ruler, and his heir. The former was Jacob, and 

when Jacob gave Joseph the coat, the latter was Joseph. The coat symbolized the ruler-to-be after the 

present leader died.

            Understandably, Joseph’s older brothers were upset. In that culture, the inheritance did not go to 

the youngest (or second youngest, in this case) son, but to the oldest son. Yeah, I would've gotten 

angry, too.

            At first glance, it may seem that Jacob was being unfair by choosing Joseph. But if you 

remember his earlier life, he only wanted one wife (Rachel) in the first place. Through Laban’s trickery, 

he married Leah first, and then Rachel (Genesis chapter 29). Leah ended up having several sons before 

Rachel, and they (duh) were older than Rachel’s first son, Joseph (Genesis chapters 29-30).

            Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah, so naturally he wanted her first son (Joseph) to be his heir. 

There is a case for both sides, and this whole mess started with Laban. Ouch, I would not like having a 

father-in-law like that.

            Whenever you hear the bare-bones “Joseph got a coat and his brothers got jealous” historical 

account, remember that it was much deeper than that. Joseph’s brothers (probably Reuben) should’ve 

been heirs to Jacob, but if Jacob had his way, those brothers wouldn’t have existed. 

            That last sentence was weird, and the whole situation was a mess.

Strange Sciptures: Rude

            For the next few posts, I’ll be going off a little book called Strange Scriptures That Perplex the 

Western Mind by Barbara M. Bowen. This book goes over verses in the Bible that might puzzle people 

unaccustomed to Middle Eastern ways. The Middle East has not changed very much since Bible times 

(besides McDonald’s). Because of this, when she writes about passages of scripture I can be assured 

that she is not only accurate today, but that her explanations are also accurate for “Bible” times, as well. 

Her exegesis (explaining passages of scripture) is very valuable.

            The first verse I will go over (in chapter one of the book) is a small matter, but it is important to 

understand culturally and spiritually. In Luke 10:1-20, Luke writes about how Jesus sent 70 men, in 

pairs, to places where Jesus Himself would come. In verse 4, he writes that Jesus said, “Carry neither 

purse (money), nor scrip (bag), nor shoes, and salute no man by the way.” That means that Jesus’ 

disciples were not to greet those they met on their way to their destination.

            When a European or American reads that, he or she might be tempted to think that Jesus wanted 

His disciples to be rude. This is a natural reaction, given the way we “salute” or greet people today. We 

might nod our head and say “hi”, never stopping during the process. Why wouldn’t Jesus allow His 

disciples to be similarly courteous?

            The problem is the Middle Eastern greeting isn’t like the Western greeting. We might shake 

hands and say, “How are you doing?” But it doesn’t last long, a minute or so at the most. Then we are 

on our way. No, the Middle Eastern greeting is elaborate and repetitious. They kiss their friend (or 

whoever) on both cheeks, then they have a little hand ritual, then they have a list of complimentary 

speeches and questions. The whole process can take hours. That is what Jesus meant by a “salute”.

            No, Jesus’ disciples had a job to do. They were to be focused. The Messiah was here; they were 

to spread the news. The Kingdom of God was (and is) near. This was an eternally important message 

that they needed to spread. They could not be hampered by extremely long greetings, so they were not 

to greet anyone on their way.

            Now that we understand what Jesus meant culturally, how can we apply this lesson spiritually? 

When we are saved, Jesus gives us responsibilities. Two of these are to spread the Gospel and to love 

one another. These are weighty things, and we are called to fulfill them. But there are often cultural 

obstacles. In Jesus’ time, greetings could sidetrack evangelism. Though that is not a problem in our 

culture, America has its own obstacles for Christians desiring to be obedient to God.

            For instance, a lot of Americans believe that, while faith is important, religious folks should 

keep their beliefs to themselves. If Christians try to tell them about Jesus, they are insulted. They say, 

“Keep your Jesus to yourself.” This is an obstacle that is just as real as the “forever greetings” of Jesus’ 

time.

            Another obstacle we have in America’s culture is the pseudo-Christian belief that if you know 

about Jesus, you’re good to go. Just go to church once in a while. Jesus covers you, baby. Do your 

thing; we’ll see each other in Heaven one day. The obstacle is “knowing can save you”. That is why 

we have a culture of people who call themselves Christians, but don’t live like Christ. It is a deadly 

obstacle. People know who Jesus is (sorta), and they know what He did (sorta). They believe this 

knowledge can save them.

            Jesus wasn’t being rude; He was just giving us an example of what it looks like to put the life of 

a Christian in action. We are not to falter in the face of cultural obstacles. No, my friends, when Jesus 

saves you, you are to live for Him. Cultures will pass away, but God never will.

Genesis ≠ Evolution: It's All Good

            There are a couple more biblical arguments for a literal Genesis, but I will stop with this one. It is the biggest obstacle for theistic evolution (TE), for if explained correctly, this argument against TE will demonstrate that TE is an attack on God’s character.

            TEs believe that the Big Bang happened billions of years ago. The world was then formed, eh, like four billion years ago or so. Then, however many years ago, lightning struck a pool of goo, and the first cell was formed (another theory is life formed on crystals). Then, it evolved and evolved and evolved into… a human! Wonderful, right? Maybe for atheistic evolution, but not for TE, unfortunately.

            As more and more creatures were formed through procreation and other means, and those creatures became more advanced, sad things started to happen. You see, they started dying. Terrible stuff, but that’s not all. They killed and ate each other and they got sick. There was violence as “survival of the fittest” lived itself out. Before humans even evolved, there was death, violence, and disease. This, my friends, is TE’s downfall.

            Let me read to you the beginning of Genesis 1:31, the last verse of chapter one. “And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.” It was very good. Mankind was created, the earth was complete, and God said, “It was very good.”

            How is this a problem for TE? This is a problem because if there was death, violence, and disease before God’s creation was complete (after man was created), does God think those things are good? Think about it. According to evolution, how did we evolve to this point? Survival of the fittest along with natural selection. But that entails death and suffering, which, if you ask any Christian, is not good. According to TE, though, death and suffering existed at the same time God called His creation good.

            This means three things for God. 1) He is a liar (calling His creation good when it is not). 2) He thinks death, violence, and disease are good (which is completely inconsistent with the rest of the Bible. We can discard the Bible if this is true). 3) Evolution is not true (which means there was no death, violence, and disease when God said, “It was very good.”)

            Do you see the position this leaves TE? For evolution to be true, survival of the fittest has to be true (from the beginning of life up to now). For the Bible to be true, there had to have been no death, violence, and disease before and directly after God had finished creating the universe. As anyone can see, these two things are polar opposites. Only one can be true.

            When talking to a TE, ask them if they believe there was death, violence, and disease before humans evolved. They will say yes (because that is how we got here). Then tell him or her, “In Genesis 1:31, after God had finished creating the universe, including humans, He called His creation good. Do you mean to tell me that you believe death, violence, and disease are good to God? For you to be correct, those things had to exist at the same time God finished His creation and called it good.” They will be forced with the options I mentioned above.

            I tried this on a TE, and he never answered :/

P.S. Sorry, I about pounded this anti-TE argument into the ground. But it is the strongest Biblical case against TE, so it is worth it.