Depart from Me: Answered Prayer

            I asked God, “Okay, so I know you can hear me. I’ve read all about it in the Bible. Is there any way I can know you are listening?”

            As I sat there, completely dejected, a friend came down to help see what I was up to (more like down to). I told this person a little bit about what I was feeling. I’ll never forget what she said.

            “My dad and most of my family isn’t saved. I used to cry all night long and for several days I was depressed. But I learned something. God is good.” Then she left.

            Now, I’d been listening the entire time, but the ending is what truly hit me.

            In my position, I won’t know or understand everything. I don’t completely understand why people have to go to Hell (of course, I get the whole “we rebelled from God and He has to punish us". I’m talking understand with my heart, not my brain).

            However, God is good. I can hold onto that even when my mind isn’t satisfied. I am a finite being; God is infinite. I won’t understand God because that is impossible in my human position. Goes with the job description, I guess.

            God answered my prayer. Though I still hate Hell, I understand that it is not God who wanted people to go there. God is good, and He is just. His goodness is the reason why I, a wretch beyond compare, am saved.

Depart from Me: Despair

            One night on the missions trip (I took a couple weeks ago), God moved me in a way I’ve never been moved before. As I was praying with my Christian brothers and sisters, a wave of grief hit me that I can’t adequately describe.

            You see, during the prayers I’d been lifting up a friend who KNEW Christianity was true. He knew it, however (in his words thru text), he just wanted to “flush it down the toilet.” At the same time he admitted he knew the Gospel was the truth.

            While I was praying for this young man, the words “I never knew you, depart from me” (Matthew 7:23) entered my head and refused to leave. For the first time this verse hit me. Words do not do justice to the pain and the sorrow I felt during that night. Supreme emptiness.

            If my friend died now, he would go to Hell. As Christians, we don’t like thinking about it. We like thinking about OUR eternity, but others?

            After the prayers ended, my brothers and sisters went to the dining room to eat and fellowship. I could not; I felt terrible. I went to our sleeping area and kept crying.

            I cried out to God, “People are going to Hell. Do you know that? Do you care? Do you love (the man I was praying for)? Can you hear me? WHERE ARE YOU?!?!”

            I could not reconcile Hell with the fact that people God created and loved will spend eternity there. How can this be?

            “Depart from me,” Jesus will say. People will be looking into those sad eyes; they will collapse in tears and despair. There will be no joy or peace where they go. No hope. No life.

           As I was by myself, the words “depart from me” would not leave. I felt an ache I’d never felt before. An emptiness, a hopelessness.