Waiting Inside Us

            “She irritates me so badly.”

            “He drives me crazy.”

            I don’t know how many times I’ve thought or said these things. If just the OTHER person would change. If only she wouldn’t make those comments, or he wouldn’t be such a jerk-face. Then life would be better.

            So while I’m thinking about how bad moods are everyone else's fault, I come to a stoplight. And I got annoyed. The thing refused to turn green. How dare it? I needed to go somewhere. I was irritated. I was put into a bad mood by an impersonal piece of technology, or so I thought.

            But was I really going to blame my bad mood on a stoplight? Seriously? A hunk of metal?

            That’s when it hit me.

Looking Inside

            The simple fact of the matter is that nothing outside makes you irritated. Or annoyed. Or grumpy*. External factors (people, stoplights, etc) trigger you to unleash what’s already inside of you.

            All you needed was an excuse to let yourself go.

            So we blame others because they make us irritated. We blame a late flight for making us annoyed. We blame a lack of sleep or food for making us grumpy.

            No, those things just make us susceptible to the not-so-good part of ourselves. The simple fact of the matter is that we can control whether we snap at someone out of irritation. We can control whether to wear a frown all day out of annoyance. We can control our dark thoughts and brooding moods.

            Nothing outside of yourself makes you annoyed, or grumpy, or irritated. No, all of that is inside of you, just waiting for an excuse to come out. Will you let it?

            So never say people put you in a bad mood. You put yourself in a bad mood, and they just helped to trigger it. But they didn’t create the bad mood for you. That came from inside.

*Sadness and anger are different. They can be legitimately triggered by external factors that you can't control.

I'm Sorry

            I remember something that happened (mercifully) long ago. I was talking with an older friend about life and what’s happened to both of us. And I said something devastatingly mean.

            The worst part was, I didn’t think anything of it. I said it flippantly and continued. But later that day I replayed the conversation and realized my one comment was extremely hurtful. I mean, it was BAD.

            So I went to my friend and I apologized. He forgave me. But it still stings a lot to think about from MY end. I can’t imagine how much I hurt him. I still haven’t forgiven myself.

What about You?

            Have you ever said anything really hurtful? If so, make sure to apologize. It means the world to the person. Don’t let time go by and hope that the pain leaves. It doesn’t; the pain only dulls a little at best.

            Words scar. They linger. No one forgives AND forgets, because only the former is possible. You’ll always remember the hurtful things said to you.

            But when your friend remembers your harsh words, he or she can think fondly about the situation because of how you said you were sorry. They’ll remember how your friendship was strengthened because you were strong enough to humble yourself.

            So don’t wait. Ask for forgiveness. Words damage but they can also heal.

            

            “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

Look Good Looking Bad

            This post was inspired by a car commercial. I will admit that. If you watch football, you may have seen it. It was about a world where everyone followed a boring script and there was little creativity or awesomeness.

            Somewhat predictably, an amazing car comes in and blows everyone’s mind away. The car deviated from the script, allowing you to do the same. If only you had it.

            Ladies and gentlemen, you don’t need an expensive car to break from the script.

Where’d the Kid Go?

            All of us were children once. I think. I mean, with some people you just really don’t know. But most of us were kids once.

            And you know the greatest things about children? They don’t care about anything. They just want to be silly and goof off and be spontaneous. The world is fun waiting to happen.

            But then, for some reason, when the kid grows up… he grabs a script and lives off it. Worried about image, he lives his life held back because *gasp* others might not like him being himself: the carefree fun-loving person he is on the inside.

            So, with script firmly in hand, the fun stops. The image-protecting begins.

But the Kid Is Still There

            But the real you still lives. The goofy “I just spilled water all over myself and it’s 20º outside and I’m laughing about it while I freeze” you didn’t die. The silly “I’m bee-bopping to a fun song around a bunch of strangers” you didn’t disappear. The “oh look, an imaginary hopscotch thingy is right there!” you is still there.

            But to unleash the kid inside you, you have to first stop caring about this thing called image. WHO CARES what people think of you? As long as you are mature about your choice of fun, go for it. Be silly.

Looking Good Looking Bad

            Let me tell you a dirty little secret: when you stop caring about image and just be yourself, people will envy you. They still have their boring scripts in their hands… and they don’t like it. They just like blending in with the crowd too much to let it go.

            I’ll also let you in on something else: it’s okay (even fun) to look bad! To just spontaneously try something and fail epically. Because when you are having the time of your life, you look good looking bad. And your friends will love you even more.

            Throw the script in the trash. Be the kid you are on the inside. Be goofy and spontaneous. Let the world be fun once again.