What Is Love?

            I go on the radio and hear one word a lot. In tons of different ways. It’s used as an excuse, a catalyst, a weapon, and every other way imaginable. This word, if you haven’t already guessed, is “love”. According to our culture, it is the "get out of jail free" card that you can use to justify any behavior.

           Ha. Let’s see what love really is. But first, I have one thing to say. Forgive me, Disney and Barbie, but I disagree with you on this subject.

When I See Your Face

            We’ve seen it a thousand times before (at least in movies, but it’s also hilarious when it happens in real life). A gorgeous stunner walks by an unsuspecting dude… and when he finally notices her, he almost forgets how to breathe. He definitely forgets how to speak. People look on and chuckle.

            He finally manages to participate in a conversation with her. Later, he gushes about how he is just like so totally in love. He just loves her like so totally a lot. Fantabulasticously*.

            Ladies and gentlemen, there is no such thing as love at first sight. Now excuse me for a second, I have to dodge all the princess movies being thrown at me…

            Let me introduce you to something called attraction. While our culture uses the words “attraction” and “love” interchangeably, they are different. One is ALL about feelings. About the external. If you take away the looks, you take away the attraction. Attraction doesn’t last very long, all that is necessary is for something equally unattractive to happen before it goes away.

            So what the poor guy was experiencing was attraction, not love. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know the difference because the word “love” has been twisted beyond recognition.

            So before we get to the definition of love, let’s talk about what our culture’s version of “love” really is.

Give Me an “S”! Give Me an “E”…

            What our culture calls “love” is really “selfishness”. You love me? Well, if that were true you would give me whatever I wanted. And because I love you, I get whatever I want. Because this is love, baby.

            Yeah, no.

            Love is not making promises to friends that you don’t intend on keeping. Love is not premarital sex because you both just “loved” each other so much you couldn’t wait. Love is not manipulating the other person and guilt-tripping to get what you want. Love is not a pass to allow whatever.

            Let’s find out what love really is.

To the Death

            Here is what the Bible says:

            “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

            It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

            Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

            It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV)

            “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13, KJV)

            Let’s go through some of these. Love is patient; it waits. It’s in no hurry. That means if you aren’t willing to wait until “I do”, you don’t love the person, you lust for that person (attraction).

            Love doesn’t seek attention, because it desires for others to get the praise and the glory. This one is hard for me, an attention-seeker. But if I love others, I should be willing to stay in the shadows and let others in the limelight.

            Love does not dishonor others. One way this happens is by breaking promises. Your word is your who you are. When you say you will do something, is that job as good as done? What is the level of your character, your integrity? Your reputation is a project, make sure to work on it and build it.

            Love keeps no record of wrong. If you love someone, you’ll let their mistakes go. It’s that simple. I can’t say I love you and wag your mistakes in your face. That’s not love.

            And verse 7 is my favorite. Love always keeps its chin up. Life downright stinks sometimes. People downright stink sometimes. I downright stink sometimes. But love always looks for the best in others. Love always believes God will bring out the best results possible. Love is the last one standing in the end.

            You done yet? I wish I was, but there’s more. I saved the toughest one for last. John 15:13 lays it out:

            Would you die for those you love?

            Jesus says that true love means that you are willing to sacrifice your life. I say I love my family, would I die for them? I say I love my friends, would I die for them? That is the ultimate meaning of putting others first.
            This is love.

Wow

            As I read what I’ve just written, I realize it hurts. I fail everyday. I can sound all authoritative behind a screen. I can be a keyboard warrior, flaying others for their mistakes. But when I look in the mirror, I have to face the reality that I am a messy failure. I don’t love others like I should. I’m not and never will be like Jesus.

            But God, in His patient, kind, forgiving, never-failing, and hopeful love, is there for me. He’ll never leave me to my mistakes. Jesus died so that one day you and I can stand before Him and hear something we don't deserve. Something that overlooked all the wrongs we did. Something that can only be described as an act of love.
            "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

*I just couldn't resist.