Do You Like You?

            I am what one would call a people pleaser. I don’t like the thought of ANYONE disliking me. How does this affect how I live? The positive results are that I'm very understanding when it comes to people making mistakes and I try to do everything I can to be encouraging to my everyone.

            The negative results? I don’t always speak my mind when I should and I often inconvenience myself because I tangle myself up trying to help others.

            Just like with any type of person, there are good and bad things to people pleasers. I just listed a couple of both.

            But what I want to focus on is the self-destructive potential people pleasers can have. I can’t think of a better example of this than the woman in Colbie Caillat’s song “Try” (the first two paragraphs are the second verse, the third is the chorus):

Get your shopping on,

At the mall,

Max your credit cards

You don't have to choose,

Buy it all

So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,

Why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself

Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

            What happens is that we think our worth is tied up in others accepting us. If they don’t accept us, we aren’t worth anything. We feel we matter when others like us.

            But what stuck out to me is the second part of the second paragraph. “When you’re all alone, by yourself/Do you like you? Do you like you?”

            If you are a people pleaser, really think about that. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if people dislike or like you if you don’t like yourself. You’ll be running on a treadmill that’s going too fast. You’ll get worried about others when the person you should be thinking about for once is you.

            You don’t exist to please others, though you should try to when you can. You exist to serve God by doing the right thing. Don’t compromise yourself so you can be liked by someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

            Do you like you? That’s not a selfish question. If the answer’s not “yes”, your life will be a draining grind, day in, day out.