Being the Broken

            Recently I went with a group of guys to spend some time with homeless people in Baltimore. We handed out backpacks full of food and other items they might need as it gets colder.

            When you talk to people, you’ll realize there are several types. The self-confident, the cocky, the mean, the nice, the sweet, the flippant, the this, the that. Sometimes people can be several and they can combine to form interesting combinations.

            I came across a man who was broken. How do I know? There was a humility to him. Not a gloominess. There’s a difference. When people are humbled, as this man was, there’s a thankfulness to them. When they look you in the eye, you see they appreciate you.

             He could’ve been been bitter towards us. He could’ve complained about his horrible situation to us. But he wasn’t and didn’t.

             I realize that God moves in the hearts of men and women like this man. God can’t and won’t use the arrogant, the strong, the wise of this world because these people haven’t been humbled. They think that within themselves lie the answers to life.

             Have you been broken? Have you been brought to the point where you truly understand that apart from God you can’t do anything? It’s sobering. It hurts. But from that point you can become great. Would you rather rule a kingdom of ants or soar on wings of an Eagle? One lets you be in charge of nothing, the other one lets you be carried towards greatness.

             This homeless man was broken. He was extremely kind and thankful. I want to be like him one day. 

Embrace the Odd

            Judging is so easy, isn’t it? If you don’t do an activity for some moral reason, you think less of those who do. If you belong to a certain group you view as superior to others, you are critical of those who don't.

            Why? The simple reason is that we only know… what we know. I know I kinda sound stupid saying that, but those who are different… are different. I knew I graduated the second grade for a reason. These are deeply profound statements.

            We are comfortable with what we know. Those who are different than us make us think. They challenge what we’ve never given a second thought to. They prod us to look at what makes us, us. They often shine a mirror on us, and sometimes we don’t like what we see.

            This post is more reflective than suggestive. I noticed something and wrote about it. I guess I’ll try to make it practical in some way.

            Embrace differences in your situations. The chatter-boxes and the extreme introverts. The goofballs and the serious. The contemplative and the flippant. All types are needed in life; each has its shining moments. Don’t think less of someone because they are odd to you. Or believe different things than you do. Get to know ‘em, and who knows? They might be your next good friend. 

Thankful for the Weird Things

            I really struggled with how I should go about this one. I didn’t want this post to be the typical “I’m thankful for God, my family, and my friends” thing everyone would expect*. Not that anything is wrong with that… but I want something unique! Here are several weird and unusual things I’m thankful for. If you asked me why I'm thankful for some of these, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you:

1) When I’m driving and the window fogs up suddenly. I don’t know why, but I’ve always found that funny.

2) When a friend of mine I haven’t seen in a couple years completely surprises me by visiting and we sing “Puttin’ on the Ritz” in my car. That happened this morning. Side note: the music video for that song is really weird. 

3) When I have a pile of clean clothes I have to put up in my closet or dresser. I don’t know why, but I actually enjoy putting away clothes. My mom must’ve brainwashed me or something.

4) Those moments when you tell a joke and your friends PRETEND it isn’t funny… but you know they are dying of laughter inside; they just don’t want to show it.

5) When a limb of mine falls asleep. I love that feeling.

6) When I’m at church and I have a family member to lay my head on so I can pretend I’m listening to the sermon.

7) When I say something really, really obvious and/or stupid. I realize it, and look at my friend. My friend pauses…. knowing he or she can nail me with the classic “DUH, genius” or “really, you just realized that?” line. And he or she lets it slide. I’m always thankful for those moments. I hate “duh”s. They make me feel like an idiot. I appreciate their tolerance for my dumb-ness.

            There are tons and tons of little things like these in my life that I’m thankful for. They just spice everything up! Spend some time and think of all the odd little things you are thankful for. It’s a lot of fun! This post has been a blast to write. Or, and here's one more:

8) When I hit "publish" when I'm done writing a post. Knowing that maybe I can make someone smile, cry, or do something in between. Knowing that there are some people in the world who actually care about my thoughts enough to waste three minutes of their life reading them. Thank you.

*I am very, extremely thankful for God. He is everything to me. I’m thankful for my family because they are the only 5 people on this planet who have been with me through everything. And I love my friends. They’ve given me so many memories. I’m so glad they put up with me!

Just a Thought

            Right now I am sick. This morning I woke up with a horribly scratchy throat, a voice that sounds like a bass guitar, a Niagara Falls nose (don’t spend too much time thinking about that), and a cough to wake the dead. It’s not very much fun. I wasn’t meant to live life like this. 

            But as I’ve gone on with my day… I’ve gotten used to it. It’s not abnormal anymore, and I don’t think twice before unwrapping a Hall’s or grabbing a tissue. It’s just me and my life.

            I know in the back of my mind what my body is going though is not normal. I shouldn’t be like this. But what I know in my mind doesn’t change the reality that I am sick and have to adjust accordingly.

            I look at the world and realize it’s the same way. Our world is sick. The symptoms are hunger, crime, disease, death, and pain in general. But we’ve gotten used to it, really. A hundred people slaughtered? We yawn. 50 people dead of a disease outbreak? We ask, “Is that it?”

            You get the point. 

            It’s so important for us to be able to look at our world and realize THIS IS NOT HOW THINGS SHOULD BE. Our world did not start like this, and this sickness will pass one day. The horrific things we witness are symptoms of an underlying cause: a cursed world.

            One day Jesus will come back and reign. Our world will become new again, and so will the people in it. 

            In the day to day grind, it’s hard to maintain perspective. Being able to step outside of it all and hold on to truths like this is very important. If I didn’t know there was hope for this world, I would literally go insane because everyone is suffering for no reason.

            But we are not. There will come a day when everything is going to change. 

You Will Be Known by Your Fruit

           I’ve been thinking of the fruits of the Spirit recently. I remember as a Sunday school child how I would proudly raise my hand when asked if I knew all of them. I would stand up and invariably miss one. And that was it. I wouldn't think about them after that.

            But the fruits of the spirit aren’t just a church-ism. They are real. Paul writes:

            “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23, ESV).

             I looked at those and realized that, as a Christian, the Holy Spirit is in me. How should people be able to tell? By what emanates from me. Am I loving? Joyful? Peaceful? Patient? Kind? Good? Faithful? Gentle? Self-controlled?

             When you give your life to God, He starts molding you into the person you need to be. This process lasts until you die. Now, certain factors affect how quickly you are shaped, but it begins as soon as you enter God’s Kingdom.

             The Holy Spirit is given to comfort and guide you. If you are living in loving obedience to God, these qualities will shine in everything you do.

             Someone will wrong you. Your response? You will lovingly forgive them.

             Someone will grate at you. Your response? You will treat them kindly.

             People will betray and hurt you. Your response? You will be a faithful friend to them; you won’t treat them how they treated you.

             You are given a responsibility. Your response? You joyfully step into your role and demonstrate self-control.

             You see, when God takes over your life you can’t help but change. How you see others and respond to situations will change. These “fruits” (i.e. qualities) will show in your godly outlook on life and your willingness to serve.

             As always, I’m going to finish by asking you questions. Most likely you are a Christian. Are these qualities evident in how you treat others? When life throws you a sucker punch, do you respond with these traits?

             No one is perfect, but God is here to help us. Be the person you need to be.

Annoyed

            So I’m reading a book about being content. And I’m annoyed. Because whenever I read these types of books I get kicked in the booty. Hard. I don’t like that.

            I like to believe that everything is fine in my own little world and I am living exactly how I should. Until God shows me I’m not… and then I’m annoyed because I know I should change. That’s annoying and really inconvenient. 

            Did I tell you I’m annoyed right now?

            Basically, the author is saying that we need to be satisfied with what we have. But that is so… un-American. You mean I’m actually supposed to be happy with where I am in life? Say it ain't so.

            He also said that if we live in America (as I do), then most likely we have something called “more than enough”. He doesn’t want his readers to feel guilty about this, but just know that you shouldn’t be complaining if you fit in this category. 

            Also, if you are in this category, you need to use this position to give more of what you have to others. Whaaaaa? I don’t like that part. Money? Give it. Time? Give it. Possessions? Give it.

            This is why I’m annoyed. I know he’s right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. He gave me a test to show the condition of my heart… and the results aren’t good.

            Because I’m annoyed, I think you should be too. Do you have more than you need? If so, you are in the category of “more than enough”, just like me. If you are in this category, think about how you can use what God’s given you for things bigger than yourself. You’ve been blessed, now spread the blessings to others!

I Respectfully Disagree

            What do you do when you disagree with someone? Are there ways to disagree? Are there "do"s and "don’t"s with arguing?

            Haha, you bet there is. Here are some things I’ve found helpful when I’ve argued with friends and family:

1. Realize that nothing is wrong with arguing itself. Jesus did it, and you can bet your life that you will argue too. It’s what is said and thought during arguments that makes arguing right or wrong.
2. Ban the words “never” and “always” from your vocabulary. They are extremely incendiary. They hurt like you wouldn’t believe, too.
3. Smile and joke while arguing. Lighten the mood if possible.
4. Agree with the other person whenever possible. Let them know you are on their side.
5. Be honest, but phrase things nicely as well. “You shouldn’t do stupid things all the time, and I’m being honest” isn't beneficially honest. “You probably should spend some more time thinking before you decide to do things, to be honest” is. It’s much softer. It’s wordier, but that’s alright.
6. Keep the goal of the argument always in mind. The goal of your argument wasn’t, most likely, to get in as many shots as possible in. It was to improve life; it was to make things better. Always stay focused on that.
7. Most likely, the other person isn’t going to do an about-face on the issue during the argument. We are just too prideful for that. Keep that in mind. But you can bet that that person is going to be thinking about what you said afterwards. Make sure to phrase things wisely, so when they reflect over what you said later they don’t get angry, but contemplative. “Huh, maybe you are right” might go through their head.

            I’m sure I could think of more, but this is good enough. Remember that arguing isn’t wrong; the results of an argument are supposed to improve the lives of both parties involved. 

That Day

            As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized more and more just how powerful words are. As a result, I’ve written many posts about what words can do. You might be sick of reading about the capabilities of palabras.

            Suck it up, buttercup, cuz this is another post about words.

            Have you noticed how some people change the atmosphere of a room as soon as they walk in? They come in and everyone is either like, "Awesome!” or “Oh boy… brace yourselves”. There is a chance this reaction has to deal with the person’s disposition.

            What about you? When you walk into a situation, are people like, “Yay! Things just got better” or are they saying, “Oh great, here so-and-so is”?

            The answer most likely lies in how you talk to people. That may seem like a “duh” statement, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is true. Do you bring energy and positivity to other people? Or do you bring just the perfect balance of Scrooge and the Grinch?

            If the answer is the latter, there is still hope for you. Just look around and say something nice to someone. Blow their socks off. Make their day. Once you’ve done that, you’ll find that you like being nice to people. And you won’t stop.

            It’ll get to the point where people will want to walk up to you because they know you have something great to say to them. Won’t that be the day?

Let Em Know

            Think through situations involving many people. School, work, teams, home, etc. There are those people who get the praise when things go correctly and the blame when they don’t. These people are in the front. They're the face of the operation, and they get all the recognition. All the focus is on them.

            But I’ve been thinking about that. They don’t actually determine whether or not the entire unit is successful. Oh, they are important in providing direction and executing in-the-moment leadership, but it’s far from a one-man-show. There are other people involved.

             You sometimes see these other people, but you don’t give them a second thought. They are the behind-the-scenes workers. They do the moving and organizing. They do the renovating. They do the hard work, and they don’t demand attention.

             Without these people, life doesn’t get done. There would be no cameramen to record the pretty politicians. There would be no builders to build the mansions shown on MTV.

             These people are amazingly talented and hard-working, and don’t get half the credit they deserve. Do you know anyone that fits this description? Let them know you notice their contribution, and you are thankful for everything they do.

              They still won’t get the attention they deserve, but they’ll know they matter. They’ll know you care.

Do You Like You?

            I am what one would call a people pleaser. I don’t like the thought of ANYONE disliking me. How does this affect how I live? The positive results are that I'm very understanding when it comes to people making mistakes and I try to do everything I can to be encouraging to my everyone.

            The negative results? I don’t always speak my mind when I should and I often inconvenience myself because I tangle myself up trying to help others.

            Just like with any type of person, there are good and bad things to people pleasers. I just listed a couple of both.

            But what I want to focus on is the self-destructive potential people pleasers can have. I can’t think of a better example of this than the woman in Colbie Caillat’s song “Try” (the first two paragraphs are the second verse, the third is the chorus):

Get your shopping on,

At the mall,

Max your credit cards

You don't have to choose,

Buy it all

So they like you. Do they like you?

Wait a second,

Why should you care, what they think of you

When you're all alone, by yourself

Do you like you? Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard

You don't have to give it all away

You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up

You don't have to change a single thing

            What happens is that we think our worth is tied up in others accepting us. If they don’t accept us, we aren’t worth anything. We feel we matter when others like us.

            But what stuck out to me is the second part of the second paragraph. “When you’re all alone, by yourself/Do you like you? Do you like you?”

            If you are a people pleaser, really think about that. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if people dislike or like you if you don’t like yourself. You’ll be running on a treadmill that’s going too fast. You’ll get worried about others when the person you should be thinking about for once is you.

            You don’t exist to please others, though you should try to when you can. You exist to serve God by doing the right thing. Don’t compromise yourself so you can be liked by someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

            Do you like you? That’s not a selfish question. If the answer’s not “yes”, your life will be a draining grind, day in, day out.

I'll Tell You What I Want...

            A very, very common complaint I hear from the ladies side is that guys our age (high school and college) are… jerks. Or maybe they aren’t jerks, they’re just shallow and immature. Or maybe they aren’t shallow and immature… yeah, they’re shallow and immature.

            One question I’ve heard is “what should I look for in a guy?” The culture’s answer is looks, humor, and more looks. Now, those things aren’t bad, but if there isn’t character beneath those things, the attractiveness will fade away pretty quickly. So will the relationship.

            When I've been asked this question, I usually answer with some variation of the list of questions below. These are great indicators of a guy’s character (i.e. quality). Now, are all these questions applicable in every guy’s situation? No. But they are generally reliable:

1) How does he treat his mom? How he treats his mom is how he’s going to treat you. Does he look out for her, love her, honor her, and help her?

2) How does he treat his dad? This is how he will treat authority in his life. Does he listen to him, respect him, and obey him?

3a) How is he when he is in a bad mood?  This goes for EVERYONE, actually. We all have bad days when we are in rotten moods. But one of the marks of mature people is that they don’t feel the need to make sure everyone around them is also in a terrible mood. They don’t try to bring you down just because they are down.

3b) How is he when things don’t go his way? Newsflash: not everything is going to go how you want it to. How he handles life and people while going through adversity is a huge indicator of character.

4) How does he spend his free time? Now, everyone loves a little mindless entertainment in front of the television or computer. But one thing I’d like to tell this generation is that there is a world outside your electronic device! Does he spend an adequate amount of his free time doing something useful? This shows productivity.

5a) How does he serve? The mark of a man is that he puts others before himself. Boys are selfish. Men are not. Boys are arrogant. Men are confident. There is a difference, and only one allows for a guy to serve as he should.

5b) How does he treat those who are culturally “lesser” than him*? Examples of these people are younger siblings, friends, subordinate coworkers, children, elders, strangers, those who aren’t as talented as he is in whatever relevant area, etc. Does he treat them with respect? Or does he walk all over them?

            There are more things I can think of**, but this is enough to think about. Unfortunately, many people don’t really put that much thought into who they get into a relationship with. “You’re cute, athletic, and funny. Let’s get together” is about as deep as some go. That lasts until one person actually learns more about the other.

            The relationship ends and scars form. Rinse, repeat.

            Ladies, when you can, ask these questions about the guy you are interested in. God made us attractive for a reason, but if you are basing your relationship off physical attraction and not an attractive character, odds are you will be disappointed and hurt. That’s not very fun, is it?

*This one (5b) may seem out of place, but it's true. Does he take the time to acknowledge those he doesn't have to? Does he give people around him the time of day?

**Yes, I didn't include the "is he a Christian?" question. The reason why is that is a whole post by itself.

Super Average

            Sometimes I get stuck in what I call tunnel vision. I wake up, live a normal day, go to sleep. Wake up, repeat. Day in, day out. Week in, week out. Month in, month out.

            Am I doing any good? Am I making something of myself? Does my life matter?

            I’m somewhat of a self-critical guy, so I often say, “Uh, no. At least, it doesn’t look like it.” I’m not changing the world. School is… school. My friends go through tough times and I can’t help them as much as I’d like to. Customers come to my workplace (Arby’s) unhappy and leave unhappy and I can’t do anything about it.

            Tunnel vision stinks. What is the meaning of the day-to-day grind? Why am I here?

            Recently during a normal day at work we were slammed by an unexpected rush. Both drive-thru and lobby were jammed with customers. I was busy taking orders from the drive-thru, making drinks, and making shakes. If my coworker manning the register was gone, I also had to take money, assemble the orders, and hand out food.

            In short, I was very busy and a little stressed.

            In the middle of this 45 minute period, a woman came to the speaker crying. Everyone with a drive-thru headset could hear her sobbing. We all paused, wondering if we were hearing correctly.

            No matter, we had to keep moving. Order in, order out, life must go on. I quickly forget her after I send in her order*.

            Then she gets to the window. My coworker was gone, so I took her money. Her face was red and she was clearly in some type of pain. She kept apologizing and I reassured her that she was fine. I handed her credit card back and she broke out crying again.

            I asked her if everything was fine, and she just shook her head as she cried. I paused. I had my manager right in back of me, uh, encouraging me to keep the drive-thru time down. Her food was ready; he said she needed to go.

            I asked her if I could pray for her. She nodded and said, “Please pray for me.” So I prayed for her right then and there.

            Now, it was admittedly a clumsy prayer. I didn’t know what to pray for exactly. I didn’t know if it should be an upbeat prayer, or one that was more solemn. Simply, I didn’t know what to say.

            So there I was in a drive-thru in the midst of a jammed dinner rush praying for a crying stranger for 15 seconds with an unhappy manager breathing down my back. It was surreal.

            I handed her her food and she left. I continued with the orders and everything else. I knew I’d probably never see her again. I don’t know what she is going through. I don’t know if my prayer helped her any.

            Why did I share this? Just for encouragement. I don’t know how much of an impact I have. Sometimes I don’t know what my life will amount to. I’m just a high school kid with a fast food job. I’m pretty average right now.

            But knowing that God can still use me is inspiring. He put me in the right place at the right time for someone. I won’t know if what I did had any effect, but the fact that I can still do something in my pretty normal situation is encouraging.

            What about you? Is the daily grind getting you down? Are you wondering what impact you are having? Just know that God has you right where He wants you, and that there will be opportunities to help others. Keep your eyes open and stay positive. If a friend is feeling down, be their bright spot. If a sibling, spouse, or child isn’t having the best day, let them know you are there for them.

            You might be average like me, but you can be super average.

*A roasted turkey, ranch, and bacon wrap. It tells me something that I remembered that.

Lord or Savior?

            I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

            Oh really?

            I’ve been thinking about that phrase. As a seasoned church kid, I say it a lot. He’s my Lord and Savior. It rolls off the tongue like a rock off a cliff.

            Okay, bad simile. You get my point.

            As Christians, we like the “Savior” part. We are messed up people and Jesus rescues us. That’s the stuff stories are made out of.

            But then we get to the “Lord” part… and the romance fades. Jesus only saves us once, but this “Lord” stuff isn’t a one time event. It’s until we die.

            Ugh.

            The problem with “Lord” is that it means He can tell us what to do. We don’t like being told what to do. If He is Lord, that means we should obey Him. Obedience is so… not 21st century.

            I have an idea! Let’s pretend He’s not Lord and He’s just our Savior! That means all we have to do is thank Him occasionally (say, once a week on a Sunday), and we’re golden! We can live how we want.

            Unfortunately, that’s the route many take. If He’s only your Savior, you only have to thank Him. If He’s also your Lord, you also have to live for Him.

            Who is He to you?

Lord and Savior

            I was thinking about my faith recently. I had just finished whining about something minor in my life. I had just finished worrying about a test. I had just finished being in a bad mood about something or another.

            I symbolically took my faith in my hands and looked at it. What in the world is the use of my relationship with Jesus if I don’t TRUST Him?

            I can answer my own rhetorical question. My faith isn’t worth very much. Jesus didn’t become Lord of my life to have me worry about what He controls.

            I guess the whole point of this post is for you and me to evaluate our relationship with God. Do we trust Him to do what He says He’ll do? So maybe life is falling in around you. Your friends are driving you crazy and your car decided to break down. That’s when you realize how much your faith means to you.

            Let Him do His thing. He’ll work everything out, just relax and fall in His arms. Jesus has taken care of many before us, and will take care of many after us. He’s done this “Lord and Savior” thing before, you know.

Let's Fight

            As I’m watching what’s going on in this country, I’m saddened. No, scratch that, I’m angry. You wanna know why I’m angry?

            There are tons and tons of Christians, Catholics, and Christian cult (Mormon, Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc.) members in this country. In terms of pure numbers, we should be a force. But we aren’t.

            The atheists are being more impactful than we are, and the theists of this country blow them out of the water numerically. The atheists are winning court battles and campaigning and getting their gospel out.

            We proceed to sit on our rears.

            What happened to fighting? I don’t know about you, but standing up for the faith gets my adrenaline pumping. But right now we don’t have a nation of Christian fighters, but Christian pacifists.

            Now, I’m not talking about war pacifism. I’m talking about action pacifism. We look at our receding liberties and say, “Bummer.” Never mind that we have the numbers on our side. Never mind that this country has a Christian history.

            No, we see our nation being turned atheistic and we are… okay with it. “Eh, whatever happens, happens.” We seem to forget that Christianity is the center of Christianity in terms of impact. America sends out the most missionaries. America gives the most money. America is where many of the great Christian scholars, theologians, philosophers, preachers, and writers are. The best Christian charity organizations are based in this country.

            If this country turns atheistic, ALL of that disappears. Our liberties to do all the amazing things we’ve done will be gone. We’ll have to go underground, just like the believers in the Middle East and Asia.

            Let’s fight while we still have the numbers. Get involved. There are many Christian organizations trying to wake America up and they would love to have you. Get ready, these next few years are going to be rough. Will you take a stand?

Take a Stand

            One of my favorite superheroes is Superman. Besides being pure awesomeness, he has a sign that stands for something I hold very tightly to: hope. No, the “S” does not mean “Superman”, but something much bigger.

            I’ve always been enamored with hope. Something about what it represents just grabs me. I’ve been thinking about it. Why does hope matter so much to me?

            I realize it’s because hope is everything my life stands for. Why I’m here. What I’m supposed to bring. Who I try to serve.

            I’m a Christian. I represent a kingdom that hasn’t come in all its glory quite yet. I hope to be here when it arrives.

            I’m a Christian. I serve a King who made the Universe. He’s coming to reign and make everything perfect again.

            I’m a Christian. I’m here to bring the good news of my King’s return. I’m to tell people how they can enter that kingdom.

            I’m a Christian. I model a man who wasn’t just a man. I model a man who is the way, the life, and the truth. I mirror His image and how He lived. At least I try to.

            I’m a Christian. I stand for hope.

Look Around

            One of my favorite things I tell people to do is look around. This world is hopeless. Wars, rumors of wars, hunger, disease, narcissism, theft, murder. It needs hope.

            We can be the world’s hope. When people look at us and see the joy we have, they’ll wonder what’s up. "What is in you that makes you like that?" "What do you have that I don’t?" This and more will be running through their minds as they contemplate going through another day in their currently worthless life.

            As Christians, we know the world we live in isn’t it. There’s a better one coming, and we live for it. We grind for a nation that will soon rule, and won’t ever pass.

            So how can you be hope? If you have troubled friends, come alongside them and tell them it’s going to be okay. You are here for them because Jesus is here for you.

            Be encouraging. Don’t leave compliments unsaid; you’ll never know when they might make someone’s day.

            Be cheerful. Unless you have a reason to be down, stay upbeat! The energy you bring to your surroundings is needed, believe me.

            Be there. People just want to know someone cares for them. Let those around you know that you are always there if they want to talk.

            You can change your corner of the world. If enough people change their situation, we’ll have a changed world. I don’t know about you, but that’s something to hope for.

Report Card: From a D to an F

            I can see it now. You’re just going to roll your eyes. “Oh, yeah right, you’re one of those crazy nuts no-fun types.” What could possibly lead you to react this way?

            I’m going to talk about desensitization.

            Now, I’m not going to be like those people that tell you if you watch that dad-gum movie you are going to turn into a demon from Hell. Or a fallen angel. No, I’m not going to tell you that you should bury your head in the ground and not take in any media or non-Christian stuff.

            And no, I’m not going to talk about all the sexual or violent stuff that wears away at you. I’m going to talk about cursing.

            Why would I do that? Because I’ve experienced first hand how being around cursing 24/7 leads to changes in how you talk. At my work, my coworkers curse up a storm and a couple could match sailors with their vocabulary. I've worked there for 6 months.

            But before I continue, I have to answer a question I hear a lot. What’s wrong with cursing in the first place? Quite frankly, curse words are rude, lewd, and crude. As a Christian, there are better words for me to use in ANY situation I MIGHT be tempted to use curse words in. 

            But anyways, back to desensitization. I was in a CHURCH PARKING LOT recently, and I looked into my car trunk for something. It wasn’t there. The first thing that came pretty loudly out of my mouth was, “d—- it.”

            I was shocked. Thank goodness no one was around me. Where did THAT come from? I’m considered by some to be a choir boy goody-two-shoes.

            Later I did something really retarded (I mean, I do a lot of stupid things, but this really took the cake). Afterwards, I walked outside and yelled under my breath*, “You effin’ idiot!” Because I was really disappointed in myself, I said it twice.

           And no, I did not say “effin’”.

           I didn’t get it. Why was I saying these words that were previously unused by me? They sprung so easily from my mouth. This is from someone who is supposed to be a light to the world.

            I thought about how I’d changed. It was because I’m around coworkers who curse constantly. They curse in every situation and before I knew it, I became like them. If only for a split second. Now, I’m not blaming them. I am supposed to control my mouth no matter what and I failed to do so.

            But over time my defenses have been eroded. Those episodes showed me how bad it had gotten. Fortunately, no one heard me say those things, so people could still think I was a good Christian.

            It goes to show that anyone is susceptible to being worn away. People fill their minds with senseless violence. Then when they see an old lady get beaten up on a bus they do NOTHING. Why? They’ve seen it all before. It doesn’t matter.

            Pornography floods the world and the internet. Then we see teens engaging in destructive behavior and ask, “Why would they possible do these things?” They see it all the time in movies and television. They hear it all in what our culture calls “music”. It doesn't matter anymore.

            I wanted this post to be about desensitization. But I didn’t want to get into all the sex and violence our culture promotes because things would instantly get heavy. I chose cursing because there might be a tad bit of humor to keep things light.

            But this is for you. Just examine your life as I’ve had to do mine. Are you watching shows or movies that push unacceptable behavior blatantly? Are you listening to music that doesn’t encourage you to behave as you should? Think through these things.
             The danger of desensitization is that when you encounter evil, you witness it and leave completely unaffected. That is the symptom.

             So what have I done with my own life? I need money, therefore I need this job. Plus, I’ll have cursing coworkers everywhere so switching to another job wouldn’t change anything.

             What I’ve done is simply not engage in worthless, idle conversations that aren’t leading anywhere other than an earful of… colorful metaphors. Plus I’ve prayed that God would help me guard my mouth so I don’t shame Him when I speak.

             I’m not going to give you the “slippery slope” sermon you’ve heard so often. “If you do this activity today, you are going to be worshipping Satan tomorrow!” No, that just turns people off.

             But think about what you are doing, watching, and hearing. Is it leading you to accept behavior that is clearly unacceptable? If so, it would be best to do something about it.


*Yes, that was an oxymoron. I didn't know any other way of putting it.

Gotta Stay High

            You’re gone and I’ve gotta stay

            High all the time

            To keep you off my mind

            Spend my days locked in a haze

            Trying to forget you babe

            I fall back down

            Gotta stay high

            All my life

            To forget I’m missing you

            That is the heartbreaking chorus to Tove Lo’s song “Habits”. Unfortunately, the verses aren’t anywhere as good and contain, uh, questionable content (understatement). But the chorus is perfect in its imperfection.

             Because while the singer believes it’s because of the guy that she’s like this, it’s not. He was just the catalyst for her to bare her soul to the world. He was just the mirror for her to see who she truly is, if she would but look.

             She’s empty. She’s nothing.

             She looks around for affirmation of herself, and she found it for a fleeting second in a relationship. The glorious freedom she experienced was truly a drug. Someone loved (or at least said he loved) her, and there’s nothing like it.

             But then he was gone, and her security and value disappeared with him. This broke her, and the despondency was too much to bare. She has to alter her reality through other fleeting highs to keep going.

              That’s why relationships are so dangerous. They are but little models of the real, true relationship we should have with God. And just like our relationship with God, they offer joy, peace, and value, just on a much smaller and imperfect scale.

              Unless you want to end up like her, start and build a true relationship with God before you jump into one with an imperfect human being. He’ll be your rock that will never leave you. He’ll be your security and worth. You don’t have to stay high all the time to forget Him because He’s always there with you.


(An hour after I posted this, I came across Proverbs 31:6-7, "Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more" (KJV). Getting high to forget pain isn't new)

Flying in New Chains

            I was talking to a friend the other day about how a person should go about living his life. He told me, “Yeah, I know about all that God stuff. I know you actually live how you’re supposed to. But if I live like you, I can’t do what I want. It’s restricting.”

            I thought about what he said. He’s absolutely right. Living for God is extremely restricting.

            Then I compared him to me a few years ago. I was at a cross roads in my life. I was tired of doing the church thing. I was a good kid. I got good grades. I was good at sports. I was good at life. I was good at being a Christian, you could say.

            And I was tired of it all. It was just empty.

            I looked around and thirsted for something that actually mattered. I wanted purpose and meaning. I realized that the only place I hadn’t looked was up.

            So I made a deal with God. “Lord, make my life matter. Make me into something that has some value, because living to live is worthless. Living to go through the motions is so empty. I don’t want to act at being a Christian. I want to live life with a fire.”

            God pointed me to Himself. As our Creator, He made us with instructions. Only if we follow them will our lives be successful. But we never do.

            Would you use a lawnmower to cut a birthday cake? Of course not. Then why do we use our bodies and our talents and our time to live for ourselves? Those were not their purposes. And we wonder why we wander aimlessly.
             We aren’t following the directions. We aren’t living the reason we are on this earth.

Back to My Friend

             As I was listening to my friend, this came to me. As God has been molding me, He has restricted me. I’m not going to lie. I can’t do everything everyone else does.

             It’s been the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced.

             Because, while God has closed the door to the world’s pleasures, He has opened up His. It’s like going from baby food to steak.

             Endless cycles of empty relationships? No. Harmful sexual intimacy before marriage? No. Drugs? No. Living for the next high? No.

             But does anything better replace these things? The answer is yes. A burning passion for life? Yes. Impacting your world? Yes. Helping others and making a difference wherever you are? Yes. A joy and a peace and a purpose? Yes. A deep love for God and those around you? Yes.

             The world dangles play toys in front of us to hold us back. To keep us from living greater. These “kid’s meal” toys are holding my friend back because he can’t see the better life God has for him.

             God has His arms open. When you come to Him fully, completely, He’s there to hold you. He gives you what you need. He’ll give you a life greater than what you had in store for yourself.

             God does restrict you from living an empty life. But these restrictions lead you to turn to Him. Once you do that and let this world go, that’s all she wrote.

              It’s a wild ride. Get started and hang on.

Something's Wrong

            How are we living? I mean, I look around and I just don’t know. I look at what we call church in America, and compare it to Acts 2. Something’s wrong.

            I look at how I spend my time. Then I look at the results of how I spend my time. Something’s wrong.

            I look at how Christians talk. Then I read Proverbs and James 3. Something’s wrong.

            I see how Christians treat each other and non-Christians. Then I look at Jesus. Something’s wrong.

            I look at how men are living today, with little leadership and responsibility. I then see David after he messed up with Bathsheba. Something’s wrong.

            I look at myself. Something’s wrong.

What Are We Doing?

            I look around and see the world isn’t how it should be. Christians aren’t who they should be: saintly sinners. Or sinning saints. People who are honest with their mistakes but still setting the example for others to follow.

            I realized that there is only one truth in the world. One right way. If we stray from this, we’ll get what we have now. A world of missed opportunities and wasted lives.

            This truth is God and His divine revelation. He gives us what we need to live a productive, fulfilling life. He gives us guidelines that we can follow by His power. He is Jesus, the man we can emulate. He is Jesus, the God who defeated this world because we couldn’t.

            So open up the dusty book. The book that has changed the world and set fires in the hearts of believers in every age. It will get you on the right path. Mold your life to the Truth.

Oh My

            “Oh my God.” There it goes again. We hear people say it all the time and we get our Christian selves riled up over it. How dare they? That’s breaking the third commandment:

            “Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.”

            We actually miss the boat if those three words are the focus. While we shouldn’t go around saying “oh my God”, the commandment is bigger than that.

            How do you use God’s name? How do you talk about Him? Is it with respect? Our culture is so flippant with everything that the concept of anything being sacred is alien.
            The Jews thought of God’s name as holy to the point they wouldn’t even fully write out “Jehovah”. And after every time an Israelite scribe would write the shortened form of God's name, he would wash himself.

            They would die before they said, “Oh my Jehovah.” In fact, Israelites wouldn’t even say God’s name out loud. That’s reverence.

            When you talk about God, are you giving Him the respect He deserves? I’m not going to get into the supposed gray areas (is “oh my gosh” okay? etc.), but the third commandment is much bigger than a three word phrase.

            God is holy, and so are the names used to describe/denote Him. Do our conversations reflect that? What about our hearts? Actions?

God Among Men

            One argument used against Christians that absolutely drives me nuts is misogyny in the Bible. The Bible supposedly demeans wives. Critics point to Ephesians 5:22:

            “Wives submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord” (NIV).

            This riles the feminists up. Submission? What? This is the 21st century, Christians. Wake up! Why do the women have to submit? Men have it so easy.

            I find it amusing because feminists never get to verse 25. Let’s see why:

            “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (NIV).

            They don’t ever rail against Christians using this verse, do they? Because while wives have to submit to their husbands, husbands have to be prepared to die for their wives.

            Christ is the example for husbands. Jesus was tortured and died a horrible death. In fact, dying on a cross was so painful that the culture of the day had to create a new word to describe it: excruciating. “Ex” means “out of” and “crux” means “cross” (out of the cross).

            Husbands have to be prepared to be tortured. Then die an excruciating death. For their wives.

           I think it’s safe to say both sides have it tough. Women have to submit to faulty men who make a lot of boneheaded decisions. That’s rough, I’m not going to lie. But men have to live up to and submit to Jesus Christ Himself, the ultimate Mr. Perfect. That’s harder.

*If you want stomach-wrenching descriptions of what Jesus went through, go here and here.

Truth

            I don’t know if anyone likes it. It makes sand of stone, mud of brick. It makes what was previously secure seem untenable. It causes confusion and anxiety. It leads to trust issues and a lack of joy. It causes pain.

            What is this thing? Doubt.

            I am what you could call a professional doubter. I doubt everything because I think about everything. If parts of life don’t make logical sense, if they don’t line up with reality, I discard them. If your words don’t follow your actions, I won’t believe them. If I do something simply because “that’s the way things have always been done”, I’ll change if I can find a way I deem better.

            This leads me to my faith. I don’t want to live a certain way “because that’s how my parents tell me to live”. I don’t want to believe things because “that’s just what you are supposed to believe”. No, I want to live life to the fullest, and that means throwing off things that may be wrong.

            For instance, I used to be very critical of Christian denominations I didn't agree with. The Pentecostals? Their worship was way over the top. The Catholics? Rules and rituals. The Amish? Foolish.

            But I’ve doubted my beliefs about everything, and that includes my views of other denominations. The Pentecostals? They have a passion for worshipping God not seen since a certain naked dancing king by the name of David. The Catholics? They have exemplary saints and mystics who strived to live the Christian life with such a fervor we may never know. The Amish? They are radical enough to live their faith; there is no room for the lukewarm.

            Does this mean I suddenly agree with everything everyone believes? No, but I’ve come to appreciate, through doubting myself, that there is truth in other positions. If we could extract the best from each denomination (and even other religions), what we would have would be Jesus Himself. No longer do I dismiss something because it’s not the position I hold.

            What else have I doubted? Well, I’ve not only doubted my beliefs about other denominations, but my faith itself. Does God exist? If so, He sure doesn’t know how to run the world. I would do better. I wouldn’t allow so much pain or suffering

             But then I doubted my doubt. I found through reading something called “the free will defense”. God could’ve created us with a limited potential for either good or bad. He could’ve made us like the plants, predictable and not likely to mutiny. We could’ve done little evil because we couldn’t have done much at all.

            But then our potential to do good also would be very limited. If you can’t do horrendous evil (think Hitler), you can’t do amazing good (think Mother Theresa), and vice-versa. Our potential for good or evil is equal to the free will we have. God created us with free will (I really don’t care to quibble over the definition of “free will” at the moment). So we do horrible things with it. We burn and we torture.

            But our potential for doing good is just as strong. We give kidneys to those who need it. We give our lives to save others (policemen, firefighters). We live day in and day out in thankless jobs (pastors, stay-at-home moms, missionaries, volunteers, etc.) so that we can change the world.

            Yes, the world is filled with unspeakable evil. But God gave us that potential for evil when He gave us our potential for good. You can’t have one without the other. I don’t want to be a plant. Do you?

Back to You

            So why am I telling you about my doubts and how doubting has affected me? I’m telling you this to let you know that it’s okay to doubt. Nothing’s wrong with it. This post has been about me, but really it’s about you.

            Do you doubt? Nothing's wrong with that, I do, too. All the time. It’s through doubt that you can see truth. But make sure to bring others with you on this journey because “doubt + being alone = depression”. If you don’t have anyone sympathetic you can voice your doubts to, the world is a lonely place and doubt will hurt, not help.

            In the end, it’s about truth. We all need it, but you won’t get to it if you don’t question what you accept and the life you live. You won’t get truth if you don’t think about what you believe and what others believe. What is a meaningful life? Doubt all the answers (including mine), think through them, and you will be better for it.