Waiting Inside Us

            “She irritates me so badly.”

            “He drives me crazy.”

            I don’t know how many times I’ve thought or said these things. If just the OTHER person would change. If only she wouldn’t make those comments, or he wouldn’t be such a jerk-face. Then life would be better.

            So while I’m thinking about how bad moods are everyone else's fault, I come to a stoplight. And I got annoyed. The thing refused to turn green. How dare it? I needed to go somewhere. I was irritated. I was put into a bad mood by an impersonal piece of technology, or so I thought.

            But was I really going to blame my bad mood on a stoplight? Seriously? A hunk of metal?

            That’s when it hit me.

Looking Inside

            The simple fact of the matter is that nothing outside makes you irritated. Or annoyed. Or grumpy*. External factors (people, stoplights, etc) trigger you to unleash what’s already inside of you.

            All you needed was an excuse to let yourself go.

            So we blame others because they make us irritated. We blame a late flight for making us annoyed. We blame a lack of sleep or food for making us grumpy.

            No, those things just make us susceptible to the not-so-good part of ourselves. The simple fact of the matter is that we can control whether we snap at someone out of irritation. We can control whether to wear a frown all day out of annoyance. We can control our dark thoughts and brooding moods.

            Nothing outside of yourself makes you annoyed, or grumpy, or irritated. No, all of that is inside of you, just waiting for an excuse to come out. Will you let it?

            So never say people put you in a bad mood. You put yourself in a bad mood, and they just helped to trigger it. But they didn’t create the bad mood for you. That came from inside.

*Sadness and anger are different. They can be legitimately triggered by external factors that you can't control.

I'm Sorry

            I remember something that happened (mercifully) long ago. I was talking with an older friend about life and what’s happened to both of us. And I said something devastatingly mean.

            The worst part was, I didn’t think anything of it. I said it flippantly and continued. But later that day I replayed the conversation and realized my one comment was extremely hurtful. I mean, it was BAD.

            So I went to my friend and I apologized. He forgave me. But it still stings a lot to think about from MY end. I can’t imagine how much I hurt him. I still haven’t forgiven myself.

What about You?

            Have you ever said anything really hurtful? If so, make sure to apologize. It means the world to the person. Don’t let time go by and hope that the pain leaves. It doesn’t; the pain only dulls a little at best.

            Words scar. They linger. No one forgives AND forgets, because only the former is possible. You’ll always remember the hurtful things said to you.

            But when your friend remembers your harsh words, he or she can think fondly about the situation because of how you said you were sorry. They’ll remember how your friendship was strengthened because you were strong enough to humble yourself.

            So don’t wait. Ask for forgiveness. Words damage but they can also heal.

            

            “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

Look Good Looking Bad

            This post was inspired by a car commercial. I will admit that. If you watch football, you may have seen it. It was about a world where everyone followed a boring script and there was little creativity or awesomeness.

            Somewhat predictably, an amazing car comes in and blows everyone’s mind away. The car deviated from the script, allowing you to do the same. If only you had it.

            Ladies and gentlemen, you don’t need an expensive car to break from the script.

Where’d the Kid Go?

            All of us were children once. I think. I mean, with some people you just really don’t know. But most of us were kids once.

            And you know the greatest things about children? They don’t care about anything. They just want to be silly and goof off and be spontaneous. The world is fun waiting to happen.

            But then, for some reason, when the kid grows up… he grabs a script and lives off it. Worried about image, he lives his life held back because *gasp* others might not like him being himself: the carefree fun-loving person he is on the inside.

            So, with script firmly in hand, the fun stops. The image-protecting begins.

But the Kid Is Still There

            But the real you still lives. The goofy “I just spilled water all over myself and it’s 20º outside and I’m laughing about it while I freeze” you didn’t die. The silly “I’m bee-bopping to a fun song around a bunch of strangers” you didn’t disappear. The “oh look, an imaginary hopscotch thingy is right there!” you is still there.

            But to unleash the kid inside you, you have to first stop caring about this thing called image. WHO CARES what people think of you? As long as you are mature about your choice of fun, go for it. Be silly.

Looking Good Looking Bad

            Let me tell you a dirty little secret: when you stop caring about image and just be yourself, people will envy you. They still have their boring scripts in their hands… and they don’t like it. They just like blending in with the crowd too much to let it go.

            I’ll also let you in on something else: it’s okay (even fun) to look bad! To just spontaneously try something and fail epically. Because when you are having the time of your life, you look good looking bad. And your friends will love you even more.

            Throw the script in the trash. Be the kid you are on the inside. Be goofy and spontaneous. Let the world be fun once again.

We Deserve

            As I was reading Psalm 21, I was humming along … until I got to verse four. Instantly tears came to my eyes. I became very emotional and I didn’t know why. So I read and reread it trying to figure out what was up. Here it is (David is the “he”, and God is the “thee/thou”):

            “He asked life of thee,  and thou gavest it (to) him, even length of days for ever and ever” (KJV).

            Eventually I came to understand that my feeling was one of thankfulness.

            David “only” asked God for life. God said, “You know what? I’m going to give you eternity.” When we cry out for Jesus to “just” save us, He says, “You know what? I’m not only going to forgive your rebellion against me, I’m going to give you an everlasting future of complete and utter joy with Me.”

            This was confirmed by the verses around that one. God goes above and beyond to give us all amazing lives. Why? I don’t know; all I can say is that He loves me. I haven’t done anything for Him.

            So go around and think about that one. Not “only” has God forgiven you, He’s given you so much more. Friends, family, houses, cars, education, EVERYTHING. Look at your life and realize how blessed we are. It’s more than we deserve.

Maybe

           As I just looked at my blog, I realized that “3-D” was my 100th post. Now, is that a big deal? Well, for me it is. When I first thought about starting a blog, I asked myself, “Nathan, who would read this? Why would anyone care about your opinions? You’re just a teen.” I almost stopped after those thoughts.

            But keeping all my thoughts in my mind was like a mini-prison (or, with the size of my brain, a microscopic prison ;). I wanted to get everything down in some form; I needed to do something.

            So I gave an inch. I STARTED the blog. But I kept it to myself. I wrote it for reference material. Something I could come back to later in life if I ever needed anything.

            But then I realized something. When I wrote, not only was it a release for me, it was a source of joy. I am happy whenever I write (unless I am writing about a topic that saddens me). Maybe, just maybe, my writing could bring others joy.

            I also thought that writing about life and the Bible could be a catalyst for others to think through the tough things. Maybe it will spur others form their own opinions that are based off God’s Word. Maybe my posts can spark deep thoughts and great conversations.

            Maybe it can just… help.

            So, to quote an extremely over-used song, I let it go. I sent my blog to friends and posted it on social media. If it helped me personally to think through and write about my life, maybe reading my writing could help others.

            Maybe.

This Is for You

            So if you’ve read this blog and have been affected in any way, this blog has been worth it. You don’t have to agree with what I write. I know I don’t know it all, or even that much. But if my blog has caused you to think a little deeper about life and the Bible, then everything I’ve done has been worth it.

            Life can get monotonous. Sometimes it can get sad and frustrating and angering. But this blog has been a safe haven for me. Maybe it can be something to you in some way.

            I know people read my blog. I don’t know how many, but I know there are some. And I know you read it. So this post is for you. Hopefully there will be better posts to come.

            Maybe. I can’t make any promises. But I can thank you for reading. Here's for a hundred more.

3-D

            So recently I talked to two amazingly mature people. It was refreshing and I came away energized and excited. Earlier today I thought about those conversations. I talk to many people. What was so different about them?

            It hit me like a brick.

            There was a depth to them. They cared about life and God. It showed. They cared about me. They saw things from different vantage points. They were honest and stated their opinions, but they were kind and listened to mine.

            They were 3-D.

Get Your Glasses

            What do I mean? As humans, we care about ourselves and what we want. We look out for ourselves and our interests and what we think is best for us. That’s the first dimension.

            If this is where you end, you are one dimensional, or 1-D. You don’t care for what others think; you are living for yourself. These are the narcissists. This is me when I’m being selfish. This dimension is called You.

            However, there is a second dimension. This dimension is what I call Others. The people that live in this dimension as well not only look out for what’s best for them, but also the interests of those around them. They care about you, too, not just themselves. They are 2-D.

            These people are understanding. They see things with more depth than those who are 1-D because they take into account others around them. These people are more selfless.

            But wait, there’s another dimension.

The World in Many Ways

            There’s more to my existence than myself and others. God deserves His rightful place. He’s the third dimension.

             People who are 3-D are deep. They take into account God’s thoughts and views when shaping their thoughts and actions. They look out for themselves. They also love others and take their views into account. But above all, they do what’s best for the Kingdom of God.

            Their thoughts are layered. They see things others do not because God’s wisdom is powerfully illuminating.

Summary

             For those of you who are more visually-oriented, imagine a circle. That’s You. Then imagine a second circle (Others) partly overlapping the first one. Finally, imagine a third circle (God) overlapping the other two, olympics-style. You are 3-D if you have all these dimensions.

            This explains why I came away with the feelings I did. I talked to these people and they were amazingly deep. Their thoughts were so mature, and they were very wise. They saw the world in different ways, in several dimensions. It was refreshing.

           Are you 3-D?

Teens, Welcome to Reality

            The more I’m around teens, the more I realize that we complain a lot. We complain about school and sports and people life in general. Someone better call the WAAAaaaambulance, because we need it.

            Often, we complain about our parents.

            Our parents intentionally embarrass us. They purposefully annoy us. They don’t let us do everything we want to do. They tell us what not to do. They tell us the same thing a million times. They make a ton of mistakes.

            Our culture (especially the television) says to get  revenge. So we mercilessly mock them. We ignore and intentionally disobey them. We whine a ton. We think it’s justified.

            It’s not. Let’s go for a Job-versus-God-style question and answer beat-down.

Taking Teens to Task

            Where were you over a decade ago when your parents were up all night? Oh yeah, you were that whining sack of flesh keeping them up!

            Where were you over a decade ago when your parents had to then go about their day working and maintaining the home while looking like zombies? You were sleeping.

            Where are you when your parents spend a fortune in gas shuttling brats everywhere? You’re in the car getting ready to enjoy whatever activity you’re going to.

            What are you doing when your parents look at the phone bill? Texting, that’s what.

            What are you doing when your parents have to pay for everything you can’t? Probably not trying to pay them back!

            Where were you the many nights when your parents were up worrying about you for some reason? Off doing the thing that worried them, of course!

            What are you doing when your parents have a crazy messy house? Most likely you aren’t cleaning it!

That Was Fun!

            Looking back at what I’ve just written, I realize I had a blast writing that. Yes, parents aren’t perfect. But we can’t act like we are, either. This kicks me whenever I want to complain about my parents.

            My parents have spent so much on me in terms of money and time and other resources. This, combined with the fact that I make tons of mistakes, means I can’t go whining about my parents when I feel like it without looking kinda stupid.

            Oh, and parents have the ultimate trump card:  they didn’t have to have any of us.

            *Gulp*

The Hand

            This one gets me every time. It’s kinda sad in that they are serious. But in another world where beliefs don’t have any consequences, it would be funny.

            Feminists believe women are more powerful now than they used to be. And that’s funny.

I Should Stop Now…

            Maybe someone should shoot me now before I say something I regret. Oh well, too late!

            Feminists have gotten what they wanted for the most part. Women are basically equal to men in this country. They work as much as men do, and are in all positions of authority (except for the presidency. It shouldn’t be too long before they get there as well).

            Women looked at homemaking and their children, and then they looked at money-making. They decided that jobs were more important than family*. Why? Because, using the world’s logic, money makes the world go round. Money is power**.

            God’s plan? His plan was for the woman to take care of her home and develop the precious children there (Titus 2:5). Men? They made the money and guided the direction of the family. Women?

            They ruled the future.

Celebrating Motherhood

            William Wallace said one of the most profound things I’ve ever heard when he said, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”

            Look at the great people of our day. I don’t know how many I’ve heard say, “I thank my dad for making money, this greatly influenced me.” I’ve heard it a few times, but not that often. What is normally heard? “I thank my mom who cared for me and made me into the person I am today.” It’s almost always the mom.

            Men used to rule whatever age they were in. I’ll admit that. But women ruled the future because they, not the men, molded and influenced the next generation. They were the hands-on caretakers who had the most impact.

            But when women left the home so that they could be “equal” to men, they stopped impacting the next generation the way they used to. They stopped controlling the future.

            Now, in 10 years, what would today’s children say if they were honest? “I thank the government for raising me and my after school programs for guiding me and celebrities for inspiring me and social media for giving me wisdom.”

Who’s Got the Power?

            Men used to control the present. I won’t lie and deny that. I’m glad women are equal in the workplace and that they can vote and can do everything a guy can do.

             However, what feminists today don’t realize is the power women once had. The power women in the workforce have now can’t compare to it. WOMEN USED TO RULE THE FUTURE. And this staggering power was thrown away so women could make money.

             The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Whose hand is it now? The government. Mom and dad are out making money.

*Another annoying but mandatory disclaimer I have to put out: if a mother has a job, I’m not saying she is putting her job above her family. One can have both a job and a family. I’m talking about when a women works to the point where her duties to her husband and children are neglected.

**This is false. The people wielding the money are the powerful ones.

Your Forever Friend

            So what makes a good friend? As I’ve continued my journey down memory lane, I’ve gone over the friendships I’ve had in my existence. Some have stayed; most have gone.

            Why is it that there are some friends you want to gush everything to, while you keep your thoughts close when around others? Why is it that you enjoy being around certain friends, while you can only hang around for so long with others?

             Why is it that there are some friends you want to remain friends with forever, while others could slip away and you wouldn’t mind?

The Mark of a Forever Friend

             Since “BFF” is way overused, I’m going to call the few lucky folks in your life “forever friends” (FF). These are the people you never want to let go.

             I was going to write “The MARKS of a Forever Friend”, but then my mind refused to move past the first point I thought of. So I went with “mark” instead:

            A FF cares about you dearly.

            She goes through life with you and wants to experience your highs and lows. He worries about you when you are feeling down, and is happy when you are joyful.

            This person takes time out of his day to listen to your troubles, joys, thoughts, and everything else. Truly listens. You can tell he cares because of his demeanor when you are talking. 

            She isn’t afraid to tell you what she thinks is right for you. She’s honest; she doesn’t hide wisdom from you because it might hurt you. This person gives you a kick in the pants when necessary.

            A FF wants the best for you. He treats your troubles as if they were his own. Your life is shared with her as if it was hers. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV).

You

            We’ve all seen it. The dreaded one-way friendships. One friend is doing all the giving while the person is doing all the taking.

            One person is being the FF, while the other person is being… selfish. Are you this person?

            So evaluate your friendships. Are you the one doing all the talking? Are you showing you actually care about the other person and how he is doing, or do you just keep calm and vent on? Do you ask questions? Do you listen?

In the End

             I thought of the things that make someone a forever friend. I couldn’t move past the fact that a FF cares so much about you. My mind literally refused to think of anything else, so that was the only thing I wrote about. I could’ve also written about humor and talent and wisdom and a great personality. But I didn’t.

             A forever friend cares about you.

The Father of Evil

            I’m not going to lie. I’ve always been fascinated by Satan. Who is he? Why in the world did he try to fight God? Did it hurt when he fell from Heaven?

            Now, some Christians may say that being interested in Satan is unhealthy. My thoughts? Know your opponent. Let’s look at what the Bible says about the wicked one.

His Biography

            The prophet Isaiah writes, “How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!

            You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon.

            I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’

            But you are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit.” (Isaiah 14:12-15, NIV)

            Physically Isaiah is talking about Babylon, but this description doubles as a biography of Satan. In fact, in the KJV “morning star” is “Lucifer”, making the connection even more explicit.

The Monster

            The monster Satan fell to is the same one that gets us: pride. Pride is wanting glory and acclaim you don’t deserve. Satan looked around wanted a bigger piece of the pie.

            And He got the boot because no one touches God’s glory. It all goes to Him. Every last sliver. Don’t try to take it.

            Satan told himself he wanted to be above God’s creation, when he was a part of it. The only one outside of the created world is God Himself.

Why Did I Write This?

            I don’t know. That’s the simple answer. Satan has always fascinated me, and it’s intriguing that even he fell to pride.

            So I guess I also wrote this as a warning. If a wise, once-perfect angel like Lucifer can fall to pride, then imperfect humans can, too. Don't kid yourself.
            "And he (Jesus) said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven" (Luke 10:18, KJV). Yeah, it hurt.

One Day Too Late

            As time goes by, you understand that very few things are constant. The one thing you can count on is change. People come and go. Friends, too. Homes and jobs and everything else. But there may be someone in your life that has always been there for you.

            Have you let that person know how much he or she means to you?

            When you were crying, this person was there. When you were laughing, he was there for you. When life was a roller coaster, he was the rock you could count on.

  The song “One Day Too Late” by Skillet inspired this post. Part of it goes:

            Tick tock hear my life pass by

            I can't erase and I can't rewind

            Of all the things I regret the most I do

            Wish I'd spent more time with you

            Here’s my chance for a new beginning

            I saved the best for a better ending

            And in the end I'll make it up to you, you'll see

            You'll get the very best of me

            Truly a beautiful song. There are people in your life that you couldn’t live without. Do you let them know that? Do you let them know they mean the world to you?

             I’m getting a little misty-eyed as I think of this. So many people have affected my life and I never let them know it. There are so many people who feel worthless and unappreciated, and all they need is a kind word letting them know that everything they’ve done matters.

             Let them know now, before it’s one day too late.

For What It's Worth

            I’m almost at the end of my childhood. Wow. Soon college, maybe graduate school, then a job (Lord willing those things still exist in five years). Marriage and children around that time (Lord help whoever falls for me). Maybe soon. Maybe later.

            I’m around a fourth done with my life.

            It’s made me think of this life. It’s short. As I look back (which some of you might joke isn’t very far), my life already has had so many missed opportunities. So many mistakes.

            But lest you think I view my life negatively, I don’t. MY LIFE’S BEEN AWESOME. I’ve had countless friends through the years and tons of fun and I’ve learned so much. And I’ve had a loving family with me throughout it all.

            But being at the end of my first stage of life has made me reflective. When you look at your life, this type of thinking should make you reflective, too.

            It’s made me think, why am I alive? Why am I here?

            As I look around me, I realize none of this will last. I look at friends and realize I probably won’t be friends with them 50 years from now. Some won’t be alive. I might not be alive.

            My education? That won’t matter in eternity. What I do with it is a different story, yes, but the education by itself matters zero.

            Money? It’s the same as education. What I do with money matters more than the money itself.

            Athleticism and looks? If I had any to begin with, they won’t even last me this life.

            So as I go forward with my life, I realize that living for these things is the height of futility.

What About You?

            So let me blunt. Why are you alive? Now, if you are well-versed in the ways of the Sunday school, you might answer, “I’m alive so I can glorify God.”

            Correct answer. But do you truly believe it?

            Solomon sums up the reason for our existence in Ecclesiastes 12:13, “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (ESV).

            So think about your life. Enjoy it. Learn from it. Don’t forget the highs or lows because they made you into the person you are today.

           But remember why you were placed here. There’s still a future for us to live.

On Guard

            This one really gets me in a humorous way. I’m actually smiling as I think about it. I often hear believers say, “Christians shouldn’t argue.”

            And that’s just funny.

            I don’t know about you, but Jesus argued a lot with people, including the authorities of His day. He argued with Peter. Paul argued a lot with the Greeks, and he later had to split with a dear friend because of “irreconcilable differences” (don’t you hate that term?). The early church argued all the time to iron out conduct and doctrine.

            It’s safe to say that arguing is just fine. It can actually be quite enjoyable if at least one person (hopefully you) does it right.

Now, Having Said That

            Okay, so I need to be honest. Before you go jumping into disagreements, don’t be a jerk. Please, arguing just to argue is really worthless unless both parties are extremely bored and there is nothing else to do.

            Evaluate the debaters, including yourself. Are both sides concerned with the truth, or are they just concerned with their own opinions? If both sides want to learn the truth, then go for it. That’s the mark of a productive debate. The goal is not to win necessarily, but to come to the truth of the matter. And if you win in the process? Hey, that's not bad.

            Paul warns Titus of unproductive arguments: “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless” (Titus 3:9, NIV).

            This one hits me hard. I’ve participated in enough useless debates to last a lifetime. I didn’t care about the truth. The other person didn’t care about the truth. We just held our positions and went at it!

            This is especially true among Christians. Really evaluate your heart before you argue with another believer. There is no need to create bad blood over non-salvation-related theological differences.

            Free will or predestination (or a combo)? Biblical creationism or old-earth creationism? Pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation, or post-tribulation? Did Jesus go down to Hell after He died? Annihilation or eternity?

            All these debates can be immensely fruitful. We need to converse on these issues and try to come to the most biblically sound position. But if things get heated, just understand that it’s not worth it. Agree to disagree and change the subject.

So How Do You “Do It Right”?

            So how can arguing be enjoyable? This is a question many non-confrontational people ask. They would rather be silent than engage in combat.

            You can argue correctly if you do these things: 1) CONCEDE good points. “Hey, that is true. I never thought of that before” or “you got me there” or something like that. If your friend traps you, acknowledge it so you don’t dig yourself into a bigger hole!

            2) Listen. I’m horrible at this one. Let your opponent speak. I’ve been a jerk about this. Now, your friend is being rude if he drones on and on for minutes without asking for your permission. But let him finish his sentences. Did I say I was bad at this?

            3) Try to joke occasionally to let your “opponent” know that you are light-hearted and not too serious. This is your friend, remember? Have fun. Be witty. Make fun of yourself whenever. You want this argument to be a thought-provoking AND humorous memory.

            4) After the argument, check to see if your friend is alright. This is ESPECIALLY true of females. Guys generally get over things quickly, but girls take arguments personally. Just ask, “Are we all good?” or “You alright?” Make sure things are cool, because your friend could be simmering under the surface. Diffuse whenever you can.

            So enjoy your arguments. They sharpen your mind and you can have quite a bit of fun with them. Just keep them light-hearted if possible. Very few things are worth losing a friendship over.

Work Hard, Enjoy Harder

            As I am going back over my previous posts, I realize something. I’ve been sad as I’ve written some of them, so they’ve been downright gloomy. That’s not very fun, is it?

            So this post is going to be a change-up. My advice to you? Party hard, because the Bible says so.

            Say whaaaaat?

When a Wise Man Tells You to Party…

            Solomon writes: “There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God” (Ecclesiastes 2:24, KJV).

            In case you miss the memo, he writes basically the same thing in Ecclesiastes 3:12-13, 5:18-19, and 8:15. Solomon writes that we need to have a good time and enjoy the results of our life.

            We all work in some way. We work at or for our jobs, our schools, our sports teams, our families, and our other relationships. Our lives are work from when we are born till the day we die.

            Do you enjoy the fruits of your work? Do you celebrate the successes in your life? Or do you either focus on your failures or look ahead to the next thing you have to do?

            Stop and smell the roses. Enjoy yourself. Look around and appreciate everything you’ve fought hard for. Think "Wherever We Go" by the Newsboys.

            Did you get a good score on a test? Celebrate! Did you have a successful work day? Celebrate! Is a particular friendship unusually strong at the moment? Go out and have fun. Are you tight with someone in your family after previous hardships? Enjoy it.

            Do you enjoy the good of your labour? God wants you to. Work can be drudgery, so notice the small victories. Make memories. Don’t look back at the end of your life and wish you would've enjoyed it more.

            When the wisest man of all time tells you to party, it’s best to listen to him.

The Fringe

            As someone who writes a fair amount (I try to post every other day), I sometimes run into a wall. What should I write about? I stare at my screen and draw a blank.

            If you ever have a topic you would like to read about, email me at spencerluria@gmail.com. Any suggestions, comments, or questions are welcome!

            Now for my actual post topic.

The Fringe

            As a military child, I’ve always been an outsider. I’ve always been that new kid that had no friends. Moving from place to place, sports team to sports team, church to church. No one my age ever walked up to me to be my friend. No one ever said, “Hey! What’s your name? I’m so glad you’re here.” I always took the first step. I always fought the cliques.

           And I hated it. It hurt to be ignored and not cared about.

           So you know what I did? I gathered others who were on the outside. I formed my own group of friends with the non-popular kids. I made friends with everyone else that had no friends. My group of friends would then grow larger than the other groups. Then they wanted in. And we let them in. Everyone was happy.

            That’s not how it was supposed to be, but that’s especially how it is in the church. People don’t want to get out of their comfort zone and befriend the new person. We don’t care about the fringe because they’ve never done anything for us. They are just inconvenient nobodies.

            But let’s look at Jesus and how He acted towards those on the outside.

            “Now a man there named Zacchaeus, who was a chief tax collector and also a wealthy man,

            was seeking to see who Jesus was; but he could not see him because of the crowd, for he was short in stature.

            So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus, who was about to pass that way.

            When he reached the place, Jesus looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down quickly, for today I must stay at your house.”

            And he came down quickly and received him with joy. (Luke 19:2-6)

           After this he went out and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the customs post. He said to him, “Follow me.”

            And leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him. (Luke 5:27-28)

            Notice Jesus’ eyes. He “looked up” and noticed Zaccheus (Luke 19:5). He “saw” Levi (Luke 5:27). He was always keeping his eyes open for those on the outside. He was always on the lookout for the extremely unpopular (tax collectors, prostitutes, etc.). He cared, so he took notice.

             My friends, are we following Jesus’ example? Are we looking? Do we care?

I’m Not Sorry

             Now, as I reread what I just wrote, I realize I may come across as harsh. But I won’t change anything because that’s years upon years of frustration and sadness coming out. It’s real talk. There are so many lonely people in the church today. I’ve been one of them. It’s a shame.

             But maybe you haven’t noticed those outside of your circle because you’ve never had to experience what I have. You don't know what it's like. That’s understandable. But it’s also changeable.

             So keep your eyes open for the fringe, like me. Make friends from their ranks. Invite them in. Tell them you are so glad they are there. They'll feel like they matter. That will make their day.

             It would’ve made mine.

Shove It

            “Just !@#$ it.”

            I don’t know how many times I've heard this recently. Such is the attitude of this generation. We don’t care. And we care to tell you we don’t care. But really, we don’t care if you care.We tell you to “(beep) off” and we do so proudly.

How We Got Here

            Up until between 1600-1800s, Christianity was the standard. It was the worldview that allowed for absolutes in morality, logic, math, and science among other things. People could be sure of life, because their foundation (Christianity) allowed for surety.

            But then this thing called humanism appeared on the scene. It told us not to look to God for the absolutes He’s given us. But no, look within. Using reason and observation (science), we could come up with absolutes in life ourself without God’s help. Man is the center of the universe. God was dethroned.

            Once humanism took over, everything had to have a makeover. Science, morality, logic, everything. Why? Because a lot of the knowledge gathered up until humanism was discovered using the Bible as the starting point, and therefore the God of Christianity was heavily involved.

             That was unacceptable! Everything had to be start over. Science went from young earth creationism to atheistic or theistic evolution. Logic went from absolutes to relativism. Morality followed logic.

            But there was one problem.

Man’s Downfall

            The problem with man is that he doesn’t know everything. In fact, he knows very little. He also doesn’t know what he doesn’t know.

            So when we tried to find truth from within us (as opposed to relying on the foundations set by an omniscient God), we couldn't be sure of anything we found. Why? We didn’t know if there was anything else out there that would contradict what we just “discovered”. We couldn’t be sure of any knowledge.

            This leads to depression, because how does it feel to not know anything? It hurts, and that’s the result of humanism. When you start with man instead of God, you end up with hopelessness. You can’t be confident in anything.

            So when people were faced with either returning to the absolutes and security found in Christianity or continuing in the bleakness that is humanism, they jumped back to Christianity. They returned to absolutes, and life was great once again.

            Just kidding. The monster that is relativism was created.

What’s True for You…

            Because humanism led to the result that we can’t be sure of anything, that means there is no right or wrong. We wouldn’t be able to know which was which!

            Oh, did the younger generation love that.

            With relativism, mankind finally had the excuse to live how it wanted to. Believe me when I say that there have always been sinful people living sin-filled lives, but these people had to keep things secret because there were others that could legitimately judge them using Christianity. They knew what they did was wrong (because things could be wrong in those days), so they tried to hide it.

            But with relativism, there was no need to cover anything because everything was allowed. With no absolutes, you were fine as long as you were more powerful than the people who disagreed with you! Man finally had the justification he craved to live how he wanted.

Full Circle

            So what does that have to do with my introduction? Everything. With relativism there is no point to life. No purpose. No hope. Don’t tell me what to do because there is no reason for me to listen to you. I don’t care because there is no reason to care. There is no right or wrong.

            I am the center of the universe. I start and end with me. I am the humanistic dream.

It's Going to Be Okay

            As we are being bombarded by the prosperity Gospel, sorrow gets overlooked. As the Joel Osteens of the world get all the television time, people get this false sense that everything should be fine and dandy. There is no room for negative emotions!

            I apologize, but that is unbiblical. God gave us the ability to be sad or guilty (or angry, but you really have to be careful with that one) for a reason.

Who Needs a Kick in the Pants? Me!

            If you read 1 Corinthians, you realize that Paul just went off on that church. Corinth was deplorable in terms of morality, and sometimes the Christians were worse than everyone else (1 Corinthians 5:1)! Ouch. So Paul writes a big long disciplinary letter that tells them they need to shape up.

            And you know what? The church in Corinth listened and felt bad. OMG, did I just say that they had a “negative” emotion? I did. Paul writes in his second letter (2 Corinthians):

            “For even if I made you sad by my letter, I do not regret having written it (even though I did regret it, for I see that my letter made you sad, though only for a short time).

            Now I rejoice, not because you were made sad, but because you were made sad to the point of repentance. For you were made sad AS GOD INTENDED, so that you were not harmed in any way by us.

            For sadness as intended by God produces a repentance that leads to salvation, leaving no regret, but worldly sadness brings about death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NET, emphasis mine)

            There is a room for sadness (or sorrow). Does it produce a change? Is it productive? Does it make you a better person? Does it not last long?

So You’ve Had a Bad Day

            Then there are times when we haven’t done anything wrong, but we still feel sad because of circumstances we can’t control. Just like before, there is room for this sorrow. Solomon writes that there is a time for everything, including weeping (Ecclesiastes 3:4).

            Jesus felt sad sometimes. He got angry, too. He had all the human emotions, including the supposedly "bad" ones. It’s safe to say sadness inflicted by circumstances isn’t wrong, either.

Evaluation Time

            So the next time you feel sad, don’t feel guilty for it. Despite what some Christians say, we are human and we do bad things while bad things happen to us.

            However, you do need to evaluate why you are feeling sad. Is it unproductive? Is it changing you for the worse? Is it lasting too long?

            If the answer is “yes” to any of those questions, you need to leave the sorrow behind because it’s very harmful to you and those around you. But if the answer is “no”, then it’s alright. You’ll feel better soon!