On Guard

            This one really gets me in a humorous way. I’m actually smiling as I think about it. I often hear believers say, “Christians shouldn’t argue.”

            And that’s just funny.

            I don’t know about you, but Jesus argued a lot with people, including the authorities of His day. He argued with Peter. Paul argued a lot with the Greeks, and he later had to split with a dear friend because of “irreconcilable differences” (don’t you hate that term?). The early church argued all the time to iron out conduct and doctrine.

            It’s safe to say that arguing is just fine. It can actually be quite enjoyable if at least one person (hopefully you) does it right.

Now, Having Said That

            Okay, so I need to be honest. Before you go jumping into disagreements, don’t be a jerk. Please, arguing just to argue is really worthless unless both parties are extremely bored and there is nothing else to do.

            Evaluate the debaters, including yourself. Are both sides concerned with the truth, or are they just concerned with their own opinions? If both sides want to learn the truth, then go for it. That’s the mark of a productive debate. The goal is not to win necessarily, but to come to the truth of the matter. And if you win in the process? Hey, that's not bad.

            Paul warns Titus of unproductive arguments: “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless” (Titus 3:9, NIV).

            This one hits me hard. I’ve participated in enough useless debates to last a lifetime. I didn’t care about the truth. The other person didn’t care about the truth. We just held our positions and went at it!

            This is especially true among Christians. Really evaluate your heart before you argue with another believer. There is no need to create bad blood over non-salvation-related theological differences.

            Free will or predestination (or a combo)? Biblical creationism or old-earth creationism? Pre-tribulation, mid-tribulation, or post-tribulation? Did Jesus go down to Hell after He died? Annihilation or eternity?

            All these debates can be immensely fruitful. We need to converse on these issues and try to come to the most biblically sound position. But if things get heated, just understand that it’s not worth it. Agree to disagree and change the subject.

So How Do You “Do It Right”?

            So how can arguing be enjoyable? This is a question many non-confrontational people ask. They would rather be silent than engage in combat.

            You can argue correctly if you do these things: 1) CONCEDE good points. “Hey, that is true. I never thought of that before” or “you got me there” or something like that. If your friend traps you, acknowledge it so you don’t dig yourself into a bigger hole!

            2) Listen. I’m horrible at this one. Let your opponent speak. I’ve been a jerk about this. Now, your friend is being rude if he drones on and on for minutes without asking for your permission. But let him finish his sentences. Did I say I was bad at this?

            3) Try to joke occasionally to let your “opponent” know that you are light-hearted and not too serious. This is your friend, remember? Have fun. Be witty. Make fun of yourself whenever. You want this argument to be a thought-provoking AND humorous memory.

            4) After the argument, check to see if your friend is alright. This is ESPECIALLY true of females. Guys generally get over things quickly, but girls take arguments personally. Just ask, “Are we all good?” or “You alright?” Make sure things are cool, because your friend could be simmering under the surface. Diffuse whenever you can.

            So enjoy your arguments. They sharpen your mind and you can have quite a bit of fun with them. Just keep them light-hearted if possible. Very few things are worth losing a friendship over.